Yesterday was a culmination of bad days for me over a span of a few weeks.
Emotionally, mentally and physically draining and straining. You know how you have that one person that you can talk to when the entire world goes crazy and just the sound of their voice calms you down? I needed to hear that calming voice.
That “good morning” that would have made everything calm and quiet. I couldn’t hear that voice and the reality of it sank in as I drove to work. The suffocating, smothering thickness of that reality threatened to choke out my breathing as though I was stranded in the deep end of the pool. And then YouTube played Thursday by Jess Glynne.
That song said what I had been thinking and feeling and burying for fear of what it meant about me. So I cried. And screamed. And questioned. Everything. And then one thought flittered across my emotional meltdown at this red light. All I am right now is a mother. That’s all I have. And that broke me.
Being a mother is enough. But if it doesn’t feel like enough, remember that even when you can’t see yourself a more than a mother, others can. For example, I see you as a mother, a poet, a friend, a truth-teller, a powerful pain-sharer, a seeker of self-healing, and a human being who exists in this world who I am grateful for.
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Thank you Lynne. I love you always.
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