Ex•Haust•ion

Exhaustion. We hear about celebrities checking into hospitals because of it but do we really understand what it means? What is it to be exhausted? How do you recognize exhaustion? How do you recover from exhaustion?

I can only discuss my perspective on exhaustion, as we have had a love-hate relationship over the last two decades. Exhaustion loves to hate me with her antics. Popping in when I have a Wal-Mart sized receipt of things to do. Or calling long distance while I’m in a work meeting. Or the ever-loving hitchhike while driving home from work. Those unsolicited visits are the worst.

For me it starts with muscle aches, progresses to head-aches and morphs into extreme crankiness. Similar to being hangry, you know, hungry + angry at the same time but can’t decide which to focus on first. My mind gets fuzzy making concentrating on anything difficult. What I really want in these moments is to sleep uninterrupted for a couple of days.

This has been the summation of the last part of 2021 and all of 2022. Pure, unadulterated exhaustion. Part of it stems from me digging into my own life experiences and identifying my emotional triggers that contributed to my failed friendships and relationships. I didn’t go down that rabbit hole alone – oh no! I enlisted the help of a trusted therapist who was recommended to me. She has been amazing.

While unpacking myself and discovering parts of my personality I had locked away, I returned to crafting everyday. Before, I would only think about knitting or crocheting during the holiday season and chuck my tools once the new year rolled in. Not only have I begun knitting everyday, I am challenging myself to learn new techniques. It is helping but exhaustion is stubborn like a toddler with their favorite toy.

Finding an unbiased, non-judgmental individual to listen to you and pose questions to gently force you to see yourself in totality is priceless. The work is hard, the tears will come, the exhaustion is waiting to visit with an overnight bag already packed… but you are worth it. The journey is continuous, and sometimes arduous but keep going. And when I figure out the cure for exhaustion, I’ll let you know. In the meantime, what do you do to heal from exhaustion?

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