Redirecting My Path

When I started this blog many years ago I had this idea that to engage people I had to make my blog like everyone else’s. Scheduled posts with updated pop-culture tidbits and such.

I admit, that was like sitting down and doing calculus. I hate calculus. It’s theoretical math. And reading back over some of my older posts I can feel the resistance in my writing.

My old blog over in bloggerland (Poetically Wyld) was full of me, raw emotion and poetic sensibilities, while figuring out this thing called life. This figuring out part sucks. It’s like driving to a new part of town and the GPS is broken. Yet, more adventures and more interesting experiences are had by not knowing where you are going even as scary as being lost is.

So, I’ve decided that I am returning to my old blogger ways. You’ll be getting more – well, Me. More relaxed and unfiltered stories and I hope you enjoy them. I am beginning the close of my 30s and preparing to enter my 40s and I don’t want to drag any old, unproductive energy into my new decade with me.

I’ve spent the last two decades trying to get this whole love thing down and so far I have been very unlucky. I’m not happy about it but I’m not dead yet either so that’s a win. It’s been suggested I try Match.com but I’m a skeptic at this point. So if you have any suggestions for meeting new people I am open to listen. Until next time…

– Why Yet

Imperfection Perfection

I found one of my notebooks in my desk at work today (I have several notebooks stashed in various locations at home and at work). Looking through that notebook I discovered some of my poems that were written about six months ago.

Talk about surprise. I am caught off guard sometimes when I re-read my work because the intensity of my poetry is amazing. But alas, it is my poetry, right? This one particular poem, Imperfection Perfection, is one of those poems…

Staring at my reflection

at the results of bearing life

stretch marks gracefully swim

across my abdomen in waves

of caramel kisses.
The low slope of my breasts

reflect the nourishment

I provide for all who came forth

from my body.
My body is imperfectly perfect

in it’s own way

loving me as I love it…

– Why Yet 11/29/16

National Sibling Day, Easter…

Memory overload. I need to dump some of these mental files I am storing. Forgot that National Sibling Day was yesterday. Was reminded that Easter is this upcoming Sunday. Today is only Tuesday. 

Okay, I had to let that out. 

My children get along and enjoy each other’s company (for the most part). Well enough that I have pictures of them together. So here is my tribute to National Sibling Day…

Kindle is Life…

I just finished reading Mini Habits For Resilience by Tom Meitner on my way to my day job. He breaks down little ways we can develop a stronger resilience in our daily lives. I came across Tom’s book accidentally while searching for free books I could download for my children. (In case you are new to reading my words I am a word nerd, book nerd, however you’d like to describe it – I love books).

In life we tend to be harder on ourselves than anyone else, especially when we fail to reach a goal we’ve set for ourselves. This book shed light on the truth of how set backs can effect our view of ourselves and our abilities. Tom also offered ways to build resilience so setbacks aren’t as devastating to our sense of ability and accomplishment.

I think everyone should read at least one self-help book a year to improve in an area of life you may feel needs sprucing up… 

Black Without Apology

Too many times I have encountered individuals who behave as though only they have a right to exist on this planet. As big as this rock is… really? I can’t say I’m surprised with 45 fueling the flames. But I was inspired by the words I’ve been reading on here tonight. I wrote this poem, Black Without Apology, as an in your face call out to those who are closed-minded about anyone who is different:

Does my skin offend you?

Has my DNA mocked you?

Has my resilience taunted your very existence, pushing you to hate me?

Does my intelligence frighten

the very idea of your

subsistence on the degradation of my genetic make-up?

I guess nightmares and dreamscapes of terror

encourage you to intake artificial courage

to defile the image of my being

solely because you can’t bear

your child-mind of feeling inferior,

that gestating seed of uncertainty

that gnaws at your immorality

while you justify your (lack of) humanity

to your brotherhood of nonsensical brethren…

But I digress…

Your inability to come to terms with your ideas of the world

belong to YOU.

I am my melanated self because I am

and always will be

Black without apology.

– Why Yet 4/3/17

It’s National Poetry Month 2017!

Poetry month has returned again. I always find myself enthralled reading other’s words and feeling surprise at someone being enthralled by my own.

Don’t misunderstand me. I LOVE my works. My poetry is my therapy – therefore it is very personal and raw for me. Which makes me shy and proud to share it.

The first poem I remember having to memorize was Langston Hughes’ A Dream Deferred. I didn’t understand that poem at the age of ten but it stirred something in me. That quiet stirring continued until I read Maya Angelou’s Phenomenal Woman

Maya Angelou’s passion ignited the stirring in me and I began to slowly release my words onto paper. Not ever did I think, “I’m going to publish these poems and sell books.” But here I am, poetry collection published, writing more for another collection and pondering what to do next.

But every April for thirty solid days I am reminded, by myself and other poetry friends acquired over the years, that all poetry has beauty in it and speaks to someone somewhere.

Poetry is appreciation of life in the raw. Simple. Elegant. Rough. Raw. Love. Hurt. Deppressed. Happy. Excited. Sad. Mournful. Erotic. You get where I’m going with this.

Should you be a poet or know poets, show them some love this month. Read, share and/or review some of their work. Let them know their words mean something to you. In the meantime, I’ll keep writing and expressing my emotional transitions for all who choose to enjoy them!

Hopeless Romantic

I was chatting with some online writer friends the other day and the topic of branding came up. I read the commentary in silence because I understand it is necessary – I just hadn’t figured out what my ‘brand’ is… yet. 

Basically, what I took away from that conversation is that your ‘brand’ is your message. What message do you want to relay to your client/customer/follower/audience base? How do you want your base to perceive you? These questions helped me further understand what a brand is and why it is critical to any endeaver you engage in. How people perceive you determines how they interact with you.

Fair enough. That got me to thinking about what message I want to project. I immediately thought of my favorite t-shirt with the saying, “I’m A Hopeless Romantic With A Dirty Mind”. That t-shirt describes me perfectly! That’s why I love it so much. 

That’s when it hit me! That’s my brand all the way down to my poetry. I’m a hopeless romantic with a dirty mind. And with that, a new poem surfaced that I had to scribble down on my way to my day job this morning:

Hopeless Romantic

Fantasizing about you

brushing my hair away from my face

with fingertips that set fire to my soul.

A flamed blush

coursing through my veins

as thoughts quickly skate

south of the border of your waistband,

mentally encouraging this inferno inside

to become contagious

and catch you like a whirlwind

of Caribbean heat…

– Why Yet 3/16/17

Self-Discovery… Again

I have been away for a little bit… (okay maybe a lot) but I’ve missed you all. I was being crushed by the daily grind of my nine-to-five. Argh! Inspiration has been non-existent for me this last year as the realities of raising small children has tried to smother the creativity out of me. But you guys held firm and I thank you!

By you guys, I mean all of you creative, crafty, unorthodox-thinking, out-of-the-box thinking free spirits. You show up exactly when you’re needed the most, be it on social media or in the super market.

I’ve come out of hibernation and began turning my thoughts back to the creative things because of you guys. Writers, photographers, comedians, actors, strangers, friends, co-workers… all of you have aligned together to drag me out of this dark slump of… reality. I was beginning to believe that putting in ten-twenty years at my current gig would be the greatest thing I could do to ensure my children could grow up without needing anything.

WRONG!

I like my job, it’s a steady paycheck that keeps the lights on and food in our stomachs but you guys have reminded me that there is so much more out here in the land of make-believe and “fake news”. Yeah – I was dying to use that line, hahaha. No, but really.

Now, more than ever, creatives are NEEDED and seeing this need has made me re-think how I want my children to grow up… as creatives. I’ve learned over these last few weeks that I miss going to open mic nights, I miss laughing for no reason, making funny faces…

I want to face my fears and challenge myself and experience that thrill of fear and accomplishment. Just in the last thirty days I have been reacquainted with that thrill. I’ve had to drive a SMART car on I-95, Kelly Drive aka Martin Luther King Jr Drive, and the PA Turnpike for my nine-to-five. Prior to this gig I had not EVER driven on any of these roads in Philadelphia. My co-worker got me on two of them in the same day! And in a SMART car no less! Talk about being scared out of my mind! But that familiar rush of fear mixed with adrenaline kicked in because there was no turning back (I was in the company car) and once I parked back at the job I felt so accomplished. I loved it and had forgotten how good it felt to CONQUER fear.

In your self discovery, what fear(s) have you conquered recently? Answer in the comments.

brownlipstickpoppin

The End of 2016

I haven’t been on here in months… What can I say, life happened and some things had to be put in hibernation mode. This year has been a doosie for sure. When I started this year I had several things in mind that I wanted to accomplish and for the most part I have accomplished most of them.

Personally, I have had what some would view as set-backs. For me, they were set-ups for something better. The set-ups I encountered placed me in a position to accomplish a few of my goals and to position me to accomplish more in the future. I know I’m being cryptic but I don’t mean to. Although I haven’t been posting on here much this year I did 14523025_10154619617256979_3602667605699037611_nchronicle much of what I encountered, endured, accomplished, etc… on my Facebook and Instagram accounts (for those of you who follow me – for those of you who don’t, you should start. I can be hilarious at times).

Many are tired of 2016 snatching our childhood entertainers but I say heaven is preparing for a final showdown. Look at our president-elect. You can not get any more disrespectful to the human race than that – a clear sign the last days are fast approaching (2016 snatched Sting, Prince AND George Michael!) But I don’t want to talk about politics.paintingwithatwist

I spent this year exploring myself and pushing the limits of my comfort zone. I still have a way to go, but I’m moving and that is always good! I tried Painting With a Twist, where you drink wine and learn to paint a gallery quality picture. I loved it and want to do it again. If you haven’t tried any of the paint venues (Painting With a Twist, Paint Nite, etc…) grab a friend or two and try it!

laffnowlafflatersept2016I went to several comedy shows this year: Laff Now, Laff Later hosted by Coby Jackk (also on Facebook and Instagram). I started a new 9-5 which took most of my writing energy. The gig is okay and is a catalyst that helped me begin positioning for other goals I want to accomplish. *Drum roll* Now that this year is coming to a close I will not make any resolutions. Mostly because by January 4th I have forgotten what I had resolved to do and misplaced the list I wrote them down on.

What I will do is work on self-improvement, that is always my goal, to be better than I was yesterday. This year (2017) I am getting passports for me and my two little ones, I am getting a new vehicle, I am getting a new house and going back to school to complete my degree in accounting. Thoughts of compiling a second collection of poetry have been floating around but I am undecided on that right now. In 2017 I do want to stay consistent in writing everyday because my mind isn’t equipped with an on/off switch. Shonda Rhimes’ book Year of Yes has been a huge influence on me for 2016 and I will continue to use her wisdom as a guide to more possibilities in my life.

As the new year comes in, stay safe, enjoy the end of an interesting year, welcome in the new year and say yes to you more, yes to endless possibilities – I will. See you in 2017!

determination

Birthday Bop!

28354_120571384642257_7705438_nYep! Today (January 27th) is my birthday! I am celebrating me on learning to love myself stronger and harder! I am rocking out to my new theme song for this year, Lost At Sea by Zedd… “Lost at seeaaaa! Where they will never find us!”

Music is my salvation when life gets rocky and I am so grateful for it. I am grateful for sites like pandora.com, soundcloud.com, and all the others that are out there but I haven’t gotten around to discovering you for myself yet. Thank you!

I am so busy dancing to the music that it’s taking me longer than I initially anticipated to write this post. It was supposed to be a shorty but goody and I completely lost my train of thought listening to Lost at Sea. I absolutely LOVE this song! It is on loop on my soundcloud playlist. It is going to rock me to sleep as soon as I finish this post, I promise!

This last year has been so pivotal for me. I had to overcome some major fears to begin regaining my life back and the culmination is my starting a new job today, on my birthday, doing what I went to school for! Preparing taxes (I achieved my associate’s degree in accounting in 2010) for individuals through the Pathways program that provides free tax preparation for low income and moderate income individuals in the Philadelphia, Delaware, Montgomery and Chester County areas. Party on!