But now that it’s here I realize I miss my little boy who loved wearing his ‘gentleman shoes’ and his ‘gentleman tie’ to school. I miss the innocence in his eyes when he would wake up saying, “I love you mommy!” I want those days back but I also am so proud of the young man he has become. He’s growing beard hair on his chin too…
I am learning to recognize when my life is in transition. You know those moments in life that you don’t realize you’re moving from one phase of life into another until after it happens? I get glimpses of those phases when I quiet my mind enough to hear the whisperings of my spirit.
My moments are unique to me. When I begin to feel suffocated in life (with my job, family, obligations) I know there is change brewing within. When the ‘adults’ around me irritate me with their childish behavior, I know there is change stirring up inside of me. Many times I have found myself feeling restless and unable to maintain my thoughts on singular ideas. When my mental space is crowded, I know it is that time of transition.
Learning to recognize my signs for life transitioning is important. Once I started noticing the signs I remember to be more mindful of my thoughts, words and actions. I can also be more deliberate with my thoughts, words and actions. That is a powerful feeling. To be deliberate with the thoughts I choose to focus on, deliberate with the words I choose to speak. To be deliberate with my actions that choose to (or choose not to) partake in.
That is power. Power over myself. That feels strong. “Life and death are in the power of the tongue…” I heard that said at a Mary Kay convention in 2004 and it is so true.
You ever have one of those days where you want to check out of adulthood and go back to childhood? Today was one of those days for me. But I started thinking about what I could do differently, given the chance to advise my younger self. So I created this of seven things I would tell my younger self.
- Trust your gut. Your instinct will keep you alive because it’s the universe sending you signals. Trust the vibe the universe sends your way. Your gut instinct will direct you to (or away from) anything meant to help (or harm) you.
- Laugh often. Laughter is healthy. Your laugh is unique to you, when you relax and be yourself.
- You ARE beautiful. Hurt people hurt people. You can’t stop them from hurting, only they can decide when they’ve been hurt enough. Don’t allow anyone to dampen your shine.
- Being intelligent is good. Having a love for learning and wanting more knowledge is not a bad thing to be punished for. Wanting to understand the world around you is the most beautiful thing. Keep learning.
- Don’t give up. For anything that sparks your soul and gives you joy, hold on to it!
- Get plenty of rest. You can’t enjoy life if you’re exhausted. Let tomorrow’s worries care for themselves… I’ve read that somewhere and it makes sense.
- When you discover your true love, hold on with all of your might. It’s not often that people connect on multiple levels in a synchrony that mimics a musical dance, so when you do – make the most memories for as long as you can…
If you could go back and advise your younger self, what would you say?
This was an awesome hour with Teresa Mason Browning, author of the Secret series and A Black Man’s Pain. Check it out:
Check out @KimBlaqrayn2012’s Tweet: https://twitter.com/KimBlaqrayn2012/status/840034965521854464?s=09
I’m sitting in a McDonald’s eating breakfast before heading into my day job and I start flipping through a notebook I keep in my purse.
Skimming old notes my phone rings and it’s a caregiver. My first thought was, oh damn what now? Gratefully she was letting me know she worked out a situation she had brought to our attention on Friday. Huge sigh this Monday morning.
Returning to the pages I had begun to peruse, I came across a poem I wrote two months ago, currently untitled:
Good morning beautiful.
Look at me,
I am you
And we are here, together
Scars and all.
We are always
One and the same
Of the same candle
Looking for clarity external
The clarity has always been within
Scars and all…
Good morning beautiful,
I am you.
-Why Yet 1/3/17
May all of your mornings be beautiful.
After waiting for… well months, 2016 is here! I have many things to be grateful for and to look forward to. I am seeing things through brighter, lighter lenses and after reading the Cougarette Series, I am feeling a lot more hopeful in the romance department.
My NaNoWriMo novel needs to be completed but I am grateful that I got it started. My characters have gone silent on me but I know they will return. I just have to let them be for now.
Personally, I am learning to take care of me first so that I have energy to take care of those around me. That means doing the things that take care of my spirit, my mind, my emotions and my physical health.
My goals for 2016 include living life more. So, in honor of those goals, I bought a ticket to see Savoy and Crywolf live later on this month. My first live music concert ever! 2016 is starting off beautifully. My goals were inspired by reading Year of Yes, by Shonda Rhimes. By saying yes, I am opening myself to the possibilities of the universe. And I say yes to that! Welcome 2016 and may the odds ever be in your favor!
Another year nearly done and looking back on it, this year has been a wild ride! In January, my stepdaughter threw me a surprise birthday party with all of my sisters, nieces and nephews. In February, my youngest sister invited me to listen to her radio show on blogtalk radio and I loved it.
In March, I became a co-host of the radio show on blogtalk radio and really started having fun. I started writing poetry again, which felt great. In April, I became the host of the radio show on blogtalk radio. In May, I was given my own show on the radio show.
In June, I began interacting with many new people on social media, meeting wonderful people like Eliza David (author of the Cougarette Series, currently on sale for $0.99 on amazon.com until New Year’s day),
Tamika Newhouse (Author and CEO of Delphine Books & Mahogany Red Books), authors Monica Jeremie, Mya Kay and Khara Campbell and reunited with old friends like Malcolm Damali Mills (photographer, poet, musician), and Matthias aka Mr. 16 Bars (hip-hop artist, U.S. Army Veteran).
In July, I learned how to set up my shows on blogtalk radio and how to work the switchboard for my radio show, which was named this month, On Why Yet’s Watch. August was an active month for my family. My two youngest children celebrated birthdays and my daughter was registered for pre-K.
September brought in the start of school for my daughter and the beginning of my re-emergence with my writing and career goals. October reconnected me with myself and some friends.
November was all about NaNoWriMo and Thanksgiving. December is here and goals are dancing like fairies, waiting to be written down and implemented. With the month and year just about gone I wanted to take this time to reflect on all of my blessing from this year. All in all this was definitely a good year. Everything didn’t go smooth this year and some friends were called home but I am blessed to still have this day to show friends and family how much they mean to me.
Thank you to all of you who follow me and take time out of your busy days to read my thoughts and for those of you who give feedback. Feedback is so important, especially in these wireless, cyber times we live in where physical connections with people may be few and far between. Stay blessed and may your goals come to fruition in the coming year! Happy New Year!