My pain led me – no dragged me – along a path I dared not go but needed to venture. “I’m fine”, I said, trying to shake the pain loose. With a shake of her head Pain continued dragging my resistance to a destination unknown to me.
Adjusting my dress and fixing a smile I spoke firmly – “I’m fine. Release me.” Again Pain shook her head and continued pulling me over sharp-edged terrain up a cliff face on the side of a mountain. My fear of heights spoke then, screaming, “Wait! Where are you taking us?”
Silently Pain continued on, now her light hold turned into a firm grasp – no longer gentle. Rough, angry yanks to keep me moving cause me to stumble over my steps. My thoughts are disjointed, memories colliding, unlocking more pain and ripping open more wounds.
Falling on my hands and knees I yell, “I’M FINE!!!”, trying to force Pain to release me.
Pain spun on her heel so quick that she was a breath away from my face and spoke:
YOU. ARE. NOT. FINE.
That is why I am here. You are consumed by hurt even though you love – your pain is too great so I am here to carry it and you until you let go releasing us all.
Pain stepped back and before me lay the bluest sky I had ever seen. I realized at that moment the weight of what she said. So I screamed. All of the hurt from all of the years of believing I wasn’t enough rushed to the surface in a blood curdling holler. Dropping to my knees, I felt weak and hollowed out.
Tears blurred my vision and streaked my face as Pain knelt beside me, “Good girl”, she said as she kissed my forehead in a motherly fashion, “Rest now. My job is done.”
When I started this blog many years ago I had this idea that to engage people I had to make my blog like everyone else’s. Scheduled posts with updated pop-culture tidbits and such.
I admit, that was like sitting down and doing calculus. I hate calculus. It’s theoretical math. And reading back over some of my older posts I can feel the resistance in my writing.
My old blog over in bloggerland (Poetically Wyld) was full of me, raw emotion and poetic sensibilities, while figuring out this thing called life. This figuring out part sucks. It’s like driving to a new part of town and the GPS is broken. Yet, more adventures and more interesting experiences are had by not knowing where you are going even as scary as being lost is.
So, I’ve decided that I am returning to my old blogger ways. You’ll be getting more – well, Me. More relaxed and unfiltered stories and I hope you enjoy them. I am beginning the close of my 30s and preparing to enter my 40s and I don’t want to drag any old, unproductive energy into my new decade with me.
I’ve spent the last two decades trying to get this whole love thing down and so far I have been very unlucky. I’m not happy about it but I’m not dead yet either so that’s a win. It’s been suggested I try Match.com but I’m a skeptic at this point. So if you have any suggestions for meeting new people I am open to listen. Until next time…
2019 is in full swing. It has been quite some time since I have posted and for good reason. Many changes have occurred and are occurring. Isn’t that always the case with the New Year?
As in previous years, I have chosen to set goals – not resolutions. For me goals are more solid and once I set my mind on what I want to accomplish for the year I’ve noticed people and situations arise to assist in completing those goals.
This year started with a nasty government shut down and R. Kelly. What a combo of distractions. With R. Kelly many people don’t realize this behavior touches a nerve because too many of us have family members like this that we are ashamed to admit to having. In researching my family history I have discovered molestation and rape of family members. These stories are tucked deep and anyone who dares to shed light on them will incur the wrath of the elders in the family, not to protect the innocent but to protect the perpetrators, out of fear of the family being publicly shamed.
No healing can come from shaming the survivors and protecting the abusers. This behavior only ensures that the energy continues through the family lineage. Genetic memories hold all of the happy and sad moments in our lives. Tragedy and trauma affects us down to our DNA, that is why PTSD is so widespread amongst veterans, crime victims and survivors of natural disasters.
With this government shutdown it is appalling that one individual is allowed to hijack the country and essentially hold it hostage until demands are met. That is unconstitutional. Period. Our elected officials are failing to reign the president in. But again each day is a new way to start anew.
The beautiful fact of life is that with a new day and a new year we can make new choices. That is what this new year is about – making new choices to change what we don’t like into what we do like. My goals this year include me trying new things and further stepping out of my comfort zone. What new choices are you making for the new year?
Good morning! Happy Friday! Happy end of summer (maybe)! Happy back to school! Happy end of August!
I haven’t been on in a while because I have been learning so much these past 8 weeks I am near bursting with wanting to share it all. I am looking to shift gears in my writing here so just stick with me. Financial discussions have always been touchy where I grew up. All of the adults around me kept their finances a secret because of the idea that everyone was out to steal from them. Maybe that was true, maybe it wasn’t. I didn’t grow up during their era. What I do know is that those beliefs created behaviors that essentially crippled the financial growth capabilities of the family for several generations.
What I am starting with this post is a forum for financial education awareness. In order for us to discover a solution for the poverty and poverty-influenced thinking in our communities we have to first acknowledge the poverty that exists. Next we have to honestly face and openly discuss why the poverty exists. What behaviors are we performing and accepting that contributes to our poverty-mindset?
What behaviors can we shed to make room for new financial beliefs and habits to create the financial future we want? For more information, comment below.
I am still working on finding my rhythm here in WordPress land. I looked up my original blog, Poetically Wyld, and realized how laid back and carefree it was to maintain that writing rhythm. I wasn’t concerned about tags and SEO or anything. I just wanted to write and share.
That’s where I am attempting to return to with Why Yet’s Words. A place where I can write and share. Words are powerful things, crafters of energy, encapsulating emotions that are sometimes indescribable and I love the feelings they elicit.
Those feelings come to me in free form poetry and the fluidity of those feelings is pure emotion. Like that warm breeze blowing across your face as you stare out at the water.
That rhythm tempted me and I answered when I penned my new poetry collection, Reflections: Past, Present, Future which is available for pre-order here.
The poems I selected for Reflections are a part of my rhythm, a part of finding my rhythm and by sharing I hope to help someone else find their rhythm.
I have set a release date for my new collection of poetry, Reflections: Past, Present, Future. This collection is scheduled for June, 2018 and I am nervous and excited.
In this new collection I explore the underlying influences that led to my relationship experiences that I wrote about in my first collection, Entangled Hearts.
Many women are tired of falling for the wrong guy time and again. Falling in love with the potential of who he can become instead of looking at who he is. Ignoring our instincts when they warn us that something is wrong. What we don’t do, many times, is stop and reflect on WHY we ignore those warnings. WHY do we fall in love with potential rather than investigate the facts?
In Reflections I stop and do just that. Reflect. What is the underlying reason why I allowed sub-par love into my life? Why was I willing to give 1000% in exchange for a luke-warm 25% at best? One day I woke up and stopped trying to adjust the math.
As women, we are the cornerstone of civilization. Fellas you’re not being discounted – keep reading. Ladies, we have the biggest influence over life, it grows within us. Life flows out of us. We are designed for it. It is time we sat down in a quiet place, grabbed our tea or coffee and reflect on why we allow the negative relationships in our lives. Once we understand the WHY we can create a correction plan.
The countdown to Reflections has begun. Are you ready?
Hello. I am Why Yet and if this is your first visit, welcome to my little slice of blog-dom. A little about myself. This is not my first blog, but this is the first blog I have semi-planned out how I want to manage my posts and ideas. I am a mother, a poet, a hopeless romantic with a dirty mind – which comes in handy with the poetry writing… I love seeing people set goals and reach them. Happiness and excitement is contagious. I am a crafter – I knit and I crochet. I may post about those later should the mood suit me. I am an Aquarius! I can’t leave that out so should my thoughts branch off at rocket speed, you know why, lol. I love a good book. The genre doesn’t even matter because I read romance, urban romance, science fiction, urban street, horror, mystery… but I digress.
This post is more so a reminder to myself and to you to remember to live life and not just exist in it. Especially with the soul-journey I am currently on that inspired my new collection of poetry, Reflections: Past, Present, Future (coming June 2018). So many times we get wrapped up in our daily responsibilities that we forget how to enjoy life, like a child. I am an avid Pinner. I lost count of how many boards I have on Pinterest but I know my pins are in the seven thousands. I have come across so many great ideas on Pinterest! The courage to forego searching for someone to employ me and create employment for myself came from quite a few suggested pins for work at home opportunities. And I truly do want to live, not exist. I named this blog Why Yet’s Words to be that constant reminder to live and speak up in life. I almost named it Marki’s Bliss. Some of you may be thinking what is bliss? If it’s that good how do I get some? First let’s go to the source (by the way I am a word nerd so definitions and such may appear from time to time):
Supreme happiness; utter joy or contentment ex) wedding bliss. *courtesy of dictionary.com*
Have I discovered my utter joy or contentment yet? No, but I am working towards it. I am learning to follow what makes me happy (as long as it doesn’t hurt others in the process) and I love making pretty things that are useful. I enjoy creating beauty and sharing.
My goal is to reach that point of utter joy AND contentment. Why does it have to be either or? I want it all. So buckle up and enjoy this journey of growth with me and in the process I dare you to search within and discover your bliss. What does your heart truly desire in this life?
The first day of spring is the world’s New Year’s day. Spring is a time of rebirth and new beginnings and for me I am fully embracing that. I am fully embracing me.
The journey to discovering who I am and what my passions are has been interesting thus far. I have met so many amazing individuals, myself included. Before I began paying close attention to this journey, I was a stranger to myself. Working, raising a family, doing everything I was programmed to do. But I was unhappy. I was unfulfilled and I was very unsatisfied. Nothing is more dangerous than an unsatisfied woman.
So far on this journey, I have discovered (and accepted) the fact that I am an emotional individual. My emotions fuel the poetry I write. Emotion is passion. How I display that passion is a story in itself. Many have asked me about the poems I chose to include in my collection, Entangled Hearts.
Each poem spoke a message I wanted to share with you, my readers. We have all experienced love in some form. Good, bad or indifferent, love has left an imprint on each of us. But some imprints left a residue that made me feel alone and isolated, so I wrote about it to reach out to others who may have or yet to have experienced the same.
Entangled Hearts is a collective love letter to myself, to past loves, to future loves and to lovers in general. Sometimes love hurts but other times it doesn’t and that is what entangles all of our hearts…
Hi! My name is Yolanda Keen and I am five years old. I love to sing and play with my dolls. I have a younger brother named Calvin and he cries, a lot! He is three years old. He still acts like a baby sometimes. I don’t because I am a big girl and I can do big girl things like read books and tie my shoes. My mom taught me to do all of the big girl stuff the same as Pinky Dinky Doo.
My mom takes good care of me and my brother. My dad does too but he doesn’t take care of us the way mom does. She makes us grilled cheese sandwiches and colors with us sometimes. She yells a lot, when Calvin and I fight but she hugs us too, especially when we play nice together. She makes us eat our vegetables (yuck!), brush our teeth and read lots of books!
I didn’t like reading at first. I used to cry like Calvin when my mom would make me read, but she would always say that we must read. As a little girl, her grandmother wasn’t allowed to read because her skin was a different color than the people who owned all of the books. I’m not sure what that means but it made mom sad. She told me and Calvin to always respect the ability to read books because now we can learn about anything we want to know.
Now in school I am the best reader in my class. I finished the 100-book challenge and mom still makes me read every day. Now I have read almost 170 books and school isn’t out yet! Ms. Joy, the librarian at my neighborhood library, gave me entry forms for a reading contest so I can win movie tickets for Sherlock Gnomes. I really want to win so I can go to the movies with my friends! While reading I found new books like Mobi Shinobi, Pete the Cat, and Penny and Her Marble. Now, I am a reading machine!
I still like when mom reads to me before bed. She makes the funniest voices and scrunched her face when the bad guys do something bad. My all-time favorite is when she reads The Gruffalo. “Oh help! Oh no, it’s the GRUFFALO!” I gotta go, it’s my snack time! See ya later, alligator! Yolanda giggled as she walked to the kitchen for her afternoon snack.