Self-Actualization in America

During my early college years I studied about educators and psychologists who had similar lines of thought – that each individual’s primary goal in life is to reach the pinnacle of self-actualization. You know, that moment of clarity where you understand the purpose of your life and your role as a part of the collective called humanity. Each person’s subconscious desire is to reach this nirvana of understanding within us.

I spent the last two weeks grappling with understanding what I was witnessing in real time. Murder, mayhem and lies broadcast far and wide. George Floyd was murdered. By law enforcement. Nothing can justify that. The collective of law enforcement had refused to even arrest the officers involved – that is – until massive amounts of people spoke out about it. Murder. And law enforcement shrugged like – eh, it happens.

So the first amendment allows for freedom of speech and the freedom to peacefully assemble. So the people did just that. Assembled peacefully. Law enforcement took to the protests as though it were a war cry and suited up in military-grade tactical gear (wait, where’d the money for the upgrades come from when there’s no money for education?) complete with tear gas, shields, batons, rubber bullets and fireworks. Yes, they were shooting fireworks at people!

Agitators were sent in to disrupt the protests (which spilled across the nation from coast to coast), pallets of loose bricks were left in plain view (and not near any construction or demolition sites), and police used their bikes, batons, horses and cars to assault protestors. Even the reporters felt the attacks. One reporter was shot in the face with a rubber bullet and lost her vision in one eye. Several protestors from across the nation decided to form a group for those who lost an eye from being shot with rubber bullets (as of 6/9/20 there were at least 8 who had found each other on Twitter).

The devastation caused by gross abuse of power is a major and deadly deterrent to achieving self-actualization. How can we become our best versions of ourselves under the domestic terrorism of our law enforcement whose sole purpose is supposed to be to protect and serve the public?

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The 7 Things I Wish I Would Have Known About Adulthood…

You ever have one of those days where you want to check out of adulthood and go back to childhood? Today was one of those days for me. But I started thinking about what I could do differently, given the chance to advise my younger self. So I created this of seven things I would tell my younger self.

  1. Trust your gut. Your instinct will keep you alive because it’s the universe sending you signals. Trust the vibe the universe sends your way. Your gut instinct will direct you to (or away from) anything meant to help (or harm) you.
  2. Laugh often. Laughter is healthy. Your laugh is unique to you, when you relax and be yourself.
  3. You ARE beautiful. Hurt people hurt people. You can’t stop them from hurting, only they can decide when they’ve been hurt enough. Don’t allow anyone to dampen your shine.
  4. Being intelligent is good. Having a love for learning and wanting more knowledge is not a bad thing to be punished for. Wanting to understand the world around you is the most beautiful thing. Keep learning.
  5. Don’t give up. For anything that sparks your soul and gives you joy, hold on to it!
  6. Get plenty of rest. You can’t enjoy life if you’re exhausted. Let tomorrow’s worries care for themselves… I’ve read that somewhere and it makes sense.
  7. When you discover your true love, hold on with all of your might. It’s not often that people connect on multiple levels in a synchrony that mimics a musical dance, so when you do – make the most memories for as long as you can…

If you could go back and advise your younger self, what would you say?

Reflective Morning

I’m sitting in a McDonald’s eating breakfast before heading into my day job and I start flipping through a notebook I keep in my purse. 

Skimming old notes my phone rings and it’s a caregiver. My first thought was, oh damn what now? Gratefully she was letting me know she worked out a situation she had brought to our attention on Friday. Huge sigh this Monday morning.

Returning to the pages I had begun to peruse, I came across a poem I wrote two months ago, currently untitled:

Good morning beautiful.

Look at me,

I am you

And we are here, together

Scars and all.

We are always

One and the same

Twin flames

Of the same candle

Looking for clarity external

But…

The clarity has always been within

Us.

Scars and all…

Good morning beautiful,

I am you.
-Why Yet 1/3/17

May all of your mornings be beautiful.

Self-Discovery… Again

I have been away for a little bit… (okay maybe a lot) but I’ve missed you all. I was being crushed by the daily grind of my nine-to-five. Argh! Inspiration has been non-existent for me this last year as the realities of raising small children has tried to smother the creativity out of me. But you guys held firm and I thank you!

By you guys, I mean all of you creative, crafty, unorthodox-thinking, out-of-the-box thinking free spirits. You show up exactly when you’re needed the most, be it on social media or in the super market.

I’ve come out of hibernation and began turning my thoughts back to the creative things because of you guys. Writers, photographers, comedians, actors, strangers, friends, co-workers… all of you have aligned together to drag me out of this dark slump of… reality. I was beginning to believe that putting in ten-twenty years at my current gig would be the greatest thing I could do to ensure my children could grow up without needing anything.

WRONG!

I like my job, it’s a steady paycheck that keeps the lights on and food in our stomachs but you guys have reminded me that there is so much more out here in the land of make-believe and “fake news”. Yeah – I was dying to use that line, hahaha. No, but really.

Now, more than ever, creatives are NEEDED and seeing this need has made me re-think how I want my children to grow up… as creatives. I’ve learned over these last few weeks that I miss going to open mic nights, I miss laughing for no reason, making funny faces…

I want to face my fears and challenge myself and experience that thrill of fear and accomplishment. Just in the last thirty days I have been reacquainted with that thrill. I’ve had to drive a SMART car on I-95, Kelly Drive aka Martin Luther King Jr Drive, and the PA Turnpike for my nine-to-five. Prior to this gig I had not EVER driven on any of these roads in Philadelphia. My co-worker got me on two of them in the same day! And in a SMART car no less! Talk about being scared out of my mind! But that familiar rush of fear mixed with adrenaline kicked in because there was no turning back (I was in the company car) and once I parked back at the job I felt so accomplished. I loved it and had forgotten how good it felt to CONQUER fear.

In your self discovery, what fear(s) have you conquered recently? Answer in the comments.

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The End of 2016

I haven’t been on here in months… What can I say, life happened and some things had to be put in hibernation mode. This year has been a doosie for sure. When I started this year I had several things in mind that I wanted to accomplish and for the most part I have accomplished most of them.

Personally, I have had what some would view as set-backs. For me, they were set-ups for something better. The set-ups I encountered placed me in a position to accomplish a few of my goals and to position me to accomplish more in the future. I know I’m being cryptic but I don’t mean to. Although I haven’t been posting on here much this year I did 14523025_10154619617256979_3602667605699037611_nchronicle much of what I encountered, endured, accomplished, etc… on my Facebook and Instagram accounts (for those of you who follow me – for those of you who don’t, you should start. I can be hilarious at times).

Many are tired of 2016 snatching our childhood entertainers but I say heaven is preparing for a final showdown. Look at our president-elect. You can not get any more disrespectful to the human race than that – a clear sign the last days are fast approaching (2016 snatched Sting, Prince AND George Michael!) But I don’t want to talk about politics.paintingwithatwist

I spent this year exploring myself and pushing the limits of my comfort zone. I still have a way to go, but I’m moving and that is always good! I tried Painting With a Twist, where you drink wine and learn to paint a gallery quality picture. I loved it and want to do it again. If you haven’t tried any of the paint venues (Painting With a Twist, Paint Nite, etc…) grab a friend or two and try it!

laffnowlafflatersept2016I went to several comedy shows this year: Laff Now, Laff Later hosted by Coby Jackk (also on Facebook and Instagram). I started a new 9-5 which took most of my writing energy. The gig is okay and is a catalyst that helped me begin positioning for other goals I want to accomplish. *Drum roll* Now that this year is coming to a close I will not make any resolutions. Mostly because by January 4th I have forgotten what I had resolved to do and misplaced the list I wrote them down on.

What I will do is work on self-improvement, that is always my goal, to be better than I was yesterday. This year (2017) I am getting passports for me and my two little ones, I am getting a new vehicle, I am getting a new house and going back to school to complete my degree in accounting. Thoughts of compiling a second collection of poetry have been floating around but I am undecided on that right now. In 2017 I do want to stay consistent in writing everyday because my mind isn’t equipped with an on/off switch. Shonda Rhimes’ book Year of Yes has been a huge influence on me for 2016 and I will continue to use her wisdom as a guide to more possibilities in my life.

As the new year comes in, stay safe, enjoy the end of an interesting year, welcome in the new year and say yes to you more, yes to endless possibilities – I will. See you in 2017!

determination

The NaNoWriMo Panic is Setting In!

I looked at the calendar this morning and felt fear trying to creep into the recesses of my mind where I try to keep my writing thoughts organized – at least until I can get them on paper before I forget. November public-domain-images-free-high-resolution-quality-photos-unsplash-01691st is in 2 days and I am afraid I am not ready yet. But I am determined to complete 50,000 words. This is my first attempt at the challenge and my primary goal is to write a complete story of fiction – romantic fiction. See being a poet, I don’t have to conform to word counts and grammar or even spelling rules should I choose not to. It’s the beauty of free form poetry. The raw emotion of it is what I love. But at the same time I want to improve and grow my writing and in order to accomplish that I need to expand my writing horizons.

So, although I am delving into the realm of fiction writing I am staying in the realm of romance and steamy suggestion. Romantic urban fiction. Go figure. I love a good romance and I am currently reading The Cougarette Series with a few other romance books waiting patiently for me on my laptop. I pray I do the

composition book and pencils
composition book and pencils

romance urban fiction genre justice.

From time to time I may post a section of what I am working on here so please feel free to make suggestions and leave comments. If you like (or don’t like) what you read anywhere else here leave a comment and let me know. I love feedback!

On Why Yet’s Watch with Darryl Carr

Victim of Love II just finished a wonderful interview with author Darryl Carr. He is the author of Victim of Love (which is FREE on amazon for a limited time). Being inspired by Stephen King, the writers of Dynasty, Falcon Crest and Dallas, Darryl strives to create believable characters that we can connect with. Born and raised in Brooklyn, NY Darryl began writing when he was 16 years old. A lover of words, Darryl already has Victim of Love 2: Master in My Bed ready for release on October 23, 2015. Darryl Carr can be followed on http://www.facebook.com/darryl.carr3, and http://www.twitter.com/dcarr217 . Grab your free copy of Victim of Love, check out the interview On Why Yet’s Watch with Darryl Carr and follow Darryl Carr to keep up on new books being released!

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Finding Inspiration for my NaNoWriMo Project

A new friend, Eliza David (author of the Cougarette series), shared with me how she imagines her character portrayals as film actors/actresses and writes for them accordingly. Well in preparing for NaNoWriMo I borrowed her idea and began thinking of who could portray my main character, Marissa. After jotting down the basics about Marissa I discovered that based on age and height I found my inspiration with Keke Palmer. The images of her that I have seen online are perfect for Marissa!

Keke-Palmer-Business

Now I just have to finish drafting an outline before the challenge begins on November 1st. I am still nervous but I can do this. 50,000 words broken down into 1,667 word increments every day. About 500 – 1000 words an hour. As long as the ideas keep flowing. Okay, now to work on setting descriptions and keeping the plot interesting…

keepcalmandwrite

I Signed Up For NaNoWriMo 2015!

nanowrimoOkay, I accomplished the re-release of my collection of poetry, Entangled Hearts (available on amazon Kindle for $2.99), and signed up for the NaNoWriMo 2015 challenge. To put it mildly, I’m terrified! 50,000 words in thirty days, how do you guys do it?! Is it insanity or is it normal to feel this fearful of writing? I have ideas floating around in my mind but not sure which one will be THE one to write.

How do you guys decide what to write for NaNo? Do you create outlines on your computer/tablet/phone or write them down in a notebook? How do you decide on how many characters go into your story? Character names? Personalities? Quirks? Are you tempted to start writing before hand or do you wait until November 1? Will the story be finished in time? Will there be time to edit or do you wait until NaNo is over to edit? And will it be good? Do you block everything out for thirty days? I will keep you posted on my progress when the challenge starts. Until then…

keepcalmandwrite