When I started this blog many years ago I had this idea that to engage people I had to make my blog like everyone else’s. Scheduled posts with updated pop-culture tidbits and such.
I admit, that was like sitting down and doing calculus. I hate calculus. It’s theoretical math. And reading back over some of my older posts I can feel the resistance in my writing.
My old blog over in bloggerland (Poetically Wyld) was full of me, raw emotion and poetic sensibilities, while figuring out this thing called life. This figuring out part sucks. It’s like driving to a new part of town and the GPS is broken. Yet, more adventures and more interesting experiences are had by not knowing where you are going even as scary as being lost is.
So, I’ve decided that I am returning to my old blogger ways. You’ll be getting more – well, Me. More relaxed and unfiltered stories and I hope you enjoy them. I am beginning the close of my 30s and preparing to enter my 40s and I don’t want to drag any old, unproductive energy into my new decade with me.
I’ve spent the last two decades trying to get this whole love thing down and so far I have been very unlucky. I’m not happy about it but I’m not dead yet either so that’s a win. It’s been suggested I try Match.com but I’m a skeptic at this point. So if you have any suggestions for meeting new people I am open to listen. Until next time…
– Why Yet
I am learning to recognize when my life is in transition. You know those moments in life that you don’t realize you’re moving from one phase of life into another until after it happens? I get glimpses of those phases when I quiet my mind enough to hear the whisperings of my spirit.
My moments are unique to me. When I begin to feel suffocated in life (with my job, family, obligations) I know there is change brewing within. When the ‘adults’ around me irritate me with their childish behavior, I know there is change stirring up inside of me. Many times I have found myself feeling restless and unable to maintain my thoughts on singular ideas. When my mental space is crowded, I know it is that time of transition.
Learning to recognize my signs for life transitioning is important. Once I started noticing the signs I remember to be more mindful of my thoughts, words and actions. I can also be more deliberate with my thoughts, words and actions. That is a powerful feeling. To be deliberate with the thoughts I choose to focus on, deliberate with the words I choose to speak. To be deliberate with my actions that choose to (or choose not to) partake in.
That is power. Power over myself. That feels strong. “Life and death are in the power of the tongue…” I heard that said at a Mary Kay convention in 2004 and it is so true.
You ever have one of those days where you want to check out of adulthood and go back to childhood? Today was one of those days for me. But I started thinking about what I could do differently, given the chance to advise my younger self. So I created this of seven things I would tell my younger self.
- Trust your gut. Your instinct will keep you alive because it’s the universe sending you signals. Trust the vibe the universe sends your way. Your gut instinct will direct you to (or away from) anything meant to help (or harm) you.
- Laugh often. Laughter is healthy. Your laugh is unique to you, when you relax and be yourself.
- You ARE beautiful. Hurt people hurt people. You can’t stop them from hurting, only they can decide when they’ve been hurt enough. Don’t allow anyone to dampen your shine.
- Being intelligent is good. Having a love for learning and wanting more knowledge is not a bad thing to be punished for. Wanting to understand the world around you is the most beautiful thing. Keep learning.
- Don’t give up. For anything that sparks your soul and gives you joy, hold on to it!
- Get plenty of rest. You can’t enjoy life if you’re exhausted. Let tomorrow’s worries care for themselves… I’ve read that somewhere and it makes sense.
- When you discover your true love, hold on with all of your might. It’s not often that people connect on multiple levels in a synchrony that mimics a musical dance, so when you do – make the most memories for as long as you can…
If you could go back and advise your younger self, what would you say?
I’m sitting in a McDonald’s eating breakfast before heading into my day job and I start flipping through a notebook I keep in my purse.
Skimming old notes my phone rings and it’s a caregiver. My first thought was, oh damn what now? Gratefully she was letting me know she worked out a situation she had brought to our attention on Friday. Huge sigh this Monday morning.
Returning to the pages I had begun to peruse, I came across a poem I wrote two months ago, currently untitled:
Good morning beautiful.
Look at me,
I am you
And we are here, together
Scars and all.
We are always
One and the same
Of the same candle
Looking for clarity external
The clarity has always been within
Scars and all…
Good morning beautiful,
I am you.
-Why Yet 1/3/17
May all of your mornings be beautiful.
The first week of NaNoWriMo is completed and I hit the 10,000 word mark a couple of days ago. Some writers in the chat groups are toasting their 50,000 word completion and marching onward to 100,000 words. I say congratulations to them! I don’t know how they accomplished it that fast but I am happy for them. Meanwhile my characters are doing the do-si-do in my mind at night while I am trying to sleep. And when I wake up to tend to my two toddlers (one in school and one at home) I am super exhausted.
But in true NaNo fashion (although this is my first one) I am trudging onward. My characters had a drama filled tale to tell and who am I to deny them? Participating in NaNoWriMo has definitely introduced me to a lot of interesting writers. And the fun part is we are all eager to help each other out.
Okay a brief breakdown of what’s going on with my NIP (novel in progress):
“Hey baby. How are you?”
“Paul I’m not your baby and what do you want?”
“I just want to know if you were busy. I want to come see you.”
“I am busy and no you cannot come see me. Why don’t you go see Joanne, Jennifer, Shanta, Ms. Smith, Cindy, Mellie or Rebecca? Take your pick.”
“Don’t be like that. I miss you. I need to see you. Rocky NEEDS to see you.” Rocky is what Paul named his penis when he wanted sex.
“No Paul. Call Jana from Hawaii. Why don’t you call your ex-wife? Oops, my bad – your legally separated wife you lying sack of shit. I told you I am done with you and your games. Go find someone else to play with and I don’t miss Rocky. Who names their dick Rocky anyway?” That last part made Mia burst out laughing.
“Yo, who is that laughing? Don’t make me come over there.”
“I’m about to hang up on you. And FYI: stop mimicking the porno movies you watch. You’re not learning anything.”
“Don’t be cold like that. Let me taste you.”
Marissa and Mia spent the rest of the night laughing at men and their schemes to get laid.
Mia is hilarious but doesn’t really know what she wants to do with her life but is secretly jealous of her best friend, Marissa. Marissa admires Mia’s free spirit and openness to trusting people and situations. There are quite a few twists and turns coming in the next 20,000 words. I just haven’t written them yet. With Marissa’s ex-boyfriend, Paul, she broke up with him for cheating on her and lying to her. What do you think should happen to Paul? Post in the comments below. Thanks!
A new friend, Eliza David (author of the Cougarette series), shared with me how she imagines her character portrayals as film actors/actresses and writes for them accordingly. Well in preparing for NaNoWriMo I borrowed her idea and began thinking of who could portray my main character, Marissa. After jotting down the basics about Marissa I discovered that based on age and height I found my inspiration with Keke Palmer. The images of her that I have seen online are perfect for Marissa!
Now I just have to finish drafting an outline before the challenge begins on November 1st. I am still nervous but I can do this. 50,000 words broken down into 1,667 word increments every day. About 500 – 1000 words an hour. As long as the ideas keep flowing. Okay, now to work on setting descriptions and keeping the plot interesting…
Okay, I accomplished the re-release of my collection of poetry, Entangled Hearts (available on amazon Kindle for $2.99), and signed up for the NaNoWriMo 2015 challenge. To put it mildly, I’m terrified! 50,000 words in thirty days, how do you guys do it?! Is it insanity or is it normal to feel this fearful of writing? I have ideas floating around in my mind but not sure which one will be THE one to write.
How do you guys decide what to write for NaNo? Do you create outlines on your computer/tablet/phone or write them down in a notebook? How do you decide on how many characters go into your story? Character names? Personalities? Quirks? Are you tempted to start writing before hand or do you wait until November 1? Will the story be finished in time? Will there be time to edit or do you wait until NaNo is over to edit? And will it be good? Do you block everything out for thirty days? I will keep you posted on my progress when the challenge starts. Until then…