I revisited my original blog I started 13 years ago and feeling nostalgic, started posting again. Well, tonight I was inspired by another poet and wrote, Thank You on my other blog. Check it out and leave a comment below.
Mountain Screams
My pain led me – no dragged me – along a path I dared not go but needed to venture. “I’m fine”, I said, trying to shake the pain loose. With a shake of her head Pain continued dragging my resistance to a destination unknown to me.
Adjusting my dress and fixing a smile I spoke firmly – “I’m fine. Release me.” Again Pain shook her head and continued pulling me over sharp-edged terrain up a cliff face on the side of a mountain. My fear of heights spoke then, screaming, “Wait! Where are you taking us?”
Silently Pain continued on, now her light hold turned into a firm grasp – no longer gentle. Rough, angry yanks to keep me moving cause me to stumble over my steps. My thoughts are disjointed, memories colliding, unlocking more pain and ripping open more wounds.
Falling on my hands and knees I yell, “I’M FINE!!!”, trying to force Pain to release me.
Pain spun on her heel so quick that she was a breath away from my face and spoke:
YOU. ARE. NOT. FINE.
That is why I am here. You are consumed by hurt even though you love – your pain is too great so I am here to carry it and you until you let go releasing us all.
Pain stepped back and before me lay the bluest sky I had ever seen. I realized at that moment the weight of what she said. So I screamed. All of the hurt from all of the years of believing I wasn’t enough rushed to the surface in a blood curdling holler. Dropping to my knees, I felt weak and hollowed out.
Tears blurred my vision and streaked my face as Pain knelt beside me, “Good girl”, she said as she kissed my forehead in a motherly fashion, “Rest now. My job is done.”
Redirecting My Path
When I started this blog many years ago I had this idea that to engage people I had to make my blog like everyone else’s. Scheduled posts with updated pop-culture tidbits and such.
I admit, that was like sitting down and doing calculus. I hate calculus. It’s theoretical math. And reading back over some of my older posts I can feel the resistance in my writing.
My old blog over in bloggerland (Poetically Wyld) was full of me, raw emotion and poetic sensibilities, while figuring out this thing called life. This figuring out part sucks. It’s like driving to a new part of town and the GPS is broken. Yet, more adventures and more interesting experiences are had by not knowing where you are going even as scary as being lost is.
So, I’ve decided that I am returning to my old blogger ways. You’ll be getting more – well, Me. More relaxed and unfiltered stories and I hope you enjoy them. I am beginning the close of my 30s and preparing to enter my 40s and I don’t want to drag any old, unproductive energy into my new decade with me.
I’ve spent the last two decades trying to get this whole love thing down and so far I have been very unlucky. I’m not happy about it but I’m not dead yet either so that’s a win. It’s been suggested I try Match.com but I’m a skeptic at this point. So if you have any suggestions for meeting new people I am open to listen. Until next time…
– Why Yet
Emotional Adjustments
My daughter graduated from kindergarten two days ago. I am a proud momma. It’s taken me two days to re-contain my emotions before I could write about it.
She’s my only daughter and the reality that she’s not a baby anymore is not lost on me. I look in her face and I see her infant face but I also see a younger version of myself.
She’s courageous and open-minded, curious about the world she lives in and (in a few ways) more bold than I ever was in speaking up and out about what’s going on around her. I don’t want to smother her or block her from exploring her own potential. The only way to grow into that is for me to explore my own potential more fully so as not to stifle hers. She is me 2.0. The upgrade. She’s in beta mode and I want to ensure she has every opportunity accessible to her.
So, I have quite a few emotional adjustments to make to myself. Recognizing the maturity in her (it’s a battle sometimes when my Aquarius clash with her Leo) is hard because I don’t want her to grow up too fast. *grabs tissue* She just left preschool last year and now she’s a first grader. Sigh…
Finding My Rhythm
I am still working on finding my rhythm here in WordPress land. I looked up my original blog, Poetically Wyld, and realized how laid back and carefree it was to maintain that writing rhythm. I wasn’t concerned about tags and SEO or anything. I just wanted to write and share.
That’s where I am attempting to return to with Why Yet’s Words. A place where I can write and share. Words are powerful things, crafters of energy, encapsulating emotions that are sometimes indescribable and I love the feelings they elicit.
Those feelings come to me in free form poetry and the fluidity of those feelings is pure emotion. Like that warm breeze blowing across your face as you stare out at the water.
That rhythm tempted me and I answered when I penned my new poetry collection, Reflections: Past, Present, Future which is available for pre-order here.
The poems I selected for Reflections are a part of my rhythm, a part of finding my rhythm and by sharing I hope to help someone else find their rhythm.
Self-Discovery of Me…
The first day of spring is the world’s New Year’s day. Spring is a time of rebirth and new beginnings and for me I am fully embracing that. I am fully embracing me.
The journey to discovering who I am and what my passions are has been interesting thus far. I have met so many amazing individuals, myself included. Before I began paying close attention to this journey, I was a stranger to myself. Working, raising a family, doing everything I was programmed to do. But I was unhappy. I was unfulfilled and I was very unsatisfied. Nothing is more dangerous than an unsatisfied woman.
So far on this journey, I have discovered (and accepted) the fact that I am an emotional individual. My emotions fuel the poetry I write. Emotion is passion. How I display that passion is a story in itself. Many have asked me about the poems I chose to include in my collection, Entangled Hearts.
Each poem spoke a message I wanted to share with you, my readers. We have all experienced love in some form. Good, bad or indifferent, love has left an imprint on each of us. But some imprints left a residue that made me feel alone and isolated, so I wrote about it to reach out to others who may have or yet to have experienced the same.
Entangled Hearts is a collective love letter to myself, to past loves, to future loves and to lovers in general. Sometimes love hurts but other times it doesn’t and that is what entangles all of our hearts…
Reflect On The Past. Plan For The Future…
As National Women’s History Month winds down and the fervor of National Poetry Month begins I can only but reflect on how I fit in at this point of my life. I am a woman. I am a poet. My passion lies in sharing, educating and helping in any way I can.
In reflecting on my own past I realize I can only help others insofar as I have helped myself. That is where my experience and education springs from. Learning from my own past mistakes and then sharing those lessons.
Lesson 1. Speak up. Anything you want to learn you must first be brave enough to speak up. “How do you (insert topic here)?” The worst anyone can say is I don’t know. Your next move is to google it or head to your local library. As a poet, sometimes I am afraid to ask questions because I don’t like hearing no. No hasn’t killed me yet so I continuously push against my fear. I don’t always win, but I don’t stop either.
Lesson 2. Yes. You. Can. Whatever it is you strive to do, you can do. No explanations.
Lesson 3. Ask. For help, for reviews, for sales. Closed mouths don’t get fed. On that note, I am in need of honest feedback on my collection of poetry, Entangled Hearts. In exchange for said feedback I will be giving away free kindle copies of Entangled Hearts to the first ten people to comment below with their email addresses.
Last but not least…
Lesson 4. Inform. Let others know how they can be of service to you so you can be of better service to others! I am preparing to release my second collection of poetry, Reflections: Past, Present, Future and I need a few beta readers as well. Leave your name and email address below with beta next to it so I’ll know you’re interested in being a beta reader. Thanks in advance!
Why Yet
Yolanda Keen, The Reading Machine
Hi! My name is Yolanda Keen and I am five years old. I love to sing and play with my dolls. I have a younger brother named Calvin and he cries, a lot! He is three years old. He still acts like a baby sometimes. I don’t because I am a big girl and I can do big girl things like read books and tie my shoes. My mom taught me to do all of the big girl stuff the same as Pinky Dinky Doo.
My mom takes good care of me and my brother. My dad does too but he doesn’t take care of us the way mom does. She makes us grilled cheese sandwiches and colors with us sometimes. She yells a lot, when Calvin and I fight but she hugs us too, especially when we play nice together. She makes us eat our vegetables (yuck!), brush our teeth and read lots of books!
I didn’t like reading at first. I used to cry like Calvin when my mom would make me read, but she would always say that we must read. As a little girl, her grandmother wasn’t allowed to read because her skin was a different color than the people who owned all of the books. I’m not sure what that means but it made mom sad. She told me and Calvin to always respect the ability to read books because now we can learn about anything we want to know.
Now in school I am the best reader in my class. I finished the 100-book challenge and mom still makes me read every day. Now I have read almost 170 books and school isn’t out yet! Ms. Joy, the librarian at my neighborhood library, gave me entry forms for a reading contest so I can win movie tickets for Sherlock Gnomes. I really want to win so I can go to the movies with my friends! While reading I found new books like Mobi Shinobi, Pete the Cat, and Penny and Her Marble. Now, I am a reading machine!
I still like when mom reads to me before bed. She makes the funniest voices and scrunched her face when the bad guys do something bad. My all-time favorite is when she reads The Gruffalo. “Oh help! Oh no, it’s the GRUFFALO!” I gotta go, it’s my snack time! See ya later, alligator! Yolanda giggled as she walked to the kitchen for her afternoon snack.
James Richardson
James Richardson stood speechless when the oak door opened. Virginia stood gracefully, her five foot, six-inch frame, draped in a purple cardigan with a tank top, skinny jeans and ballet flats. His eyes drank in every nuance of her. Even the empty tumbler in her hand, which probably had apple brandy in it, he thought. The smoothness of her caramel skin invited in a flood of memories of when Virginia lowered her guard for him…
Staring into her brown eyes, I couldn’t help but silently thank God for sending this woman into my life. Her skin was electric, as though she could power all of Philadelphia by herself. I was magnetized to her. Jealousy filled me as I watched the dress caress her as it fell to the floor. I leaned in and kissed the length of her neck and felt her gasp. I stopped to look into her brown pools of hypnotism. I wanted her right then and there. I wanted her to know I wanted her. I wanted Virginia to see my hunger for her in my eyes not just my crotch.
Without any more hesitation, I clasped her face and kissed her as though my life depended on her breath. Her hardened nipples strained against the fabric of the bra, inviting me to play with them. Gently biting her bottom lip, I gazed into her eyes and my hands drifted across the swell of her breasts. I love her skin, so soft and creamy. Pulling her into me, I unclasp her bra and drop it returning my attention to her waiting skin. Letting go of her lips, I lean down and clasp a nipple into my mouth. Feeling Virginia shiver and grip the back of my head let me know that I struck a nerve of pleasure. I tugged the nipple enough to elicit a gasp and began flicking my tongue back and forth across her hard nub. “Oh James…”
“James!” The sharp irritation in Virginia’s voice snatched me back to the present.
“Virginia. Hi. You look great. May I come in please?” I just wanted to kiss her but I know that is the last thing she wants from me right now. If I want to say my piece I have to be cool.
Virginia looked at James and wanted to kiss him but she remembered he had betrayed her, “The clock is running. You have eight minutes since you wasted two of them staring like some stalker.” She stepped to the side so James could enter without touching her.
Walking through the door, James saw that Virginia had moved almost everything out of her place. He turned slowly, “Where are you going?” Virginia closed the door hard, “Don’t worry about it. You don’t have to wonder whether we’ll bump into each other. I’m making sure that we don’t.” The finality in Virginia’s words hit James like a gut punch. Instinctively James stepped toward Virginia to embrace her and she stepped back tapping her watch, “Five minutes. Start talking or leave.”
Taking a deep breath James began. “Virginia. I love you. I was wrong. I shouldn’t have gone out drinking with Ted and Brian. I know how they are and I should have seen them for who they are.” James took one step forward, “Ted was trying to get to you and I should have trusted your instincts. I know I messed us up and cost you your position and for that I will not ever be able to forgive myself. If it takes the rest of my life, I will find a way to make it up to you because I don’t want to be with anyone else.” James got down on one knee looking at Virginia, his eyes pleading for forgiveness, “I don’t want to spend the rest of my life with anyone else but you. I found my forever in you. Please baby. Forgive me.” Pulling a small black box from his back pocket, James opened it, “Will you marry me?”
Virginia Slim
Virginia glanced over her shoulder when the phone rang. Sitting the photograph onto the table, she slowly walked toward the ringing. Heart racing, she looked at the caller ID display and saw his name. Hesitantly, she picked up the receiver, “Hello James.”
“Slim. I thought I’d missed you. Can I come see you?”
“For what James?”
“I need to talk to you. Please?”
“Anything you need to say to me, say it now before I hang up.”
“I need to say this in person. If you’ll let me. Please?”
Taking a deep breath and exhaling slow, Virginia responded. “Okay. You have ten minutes to get here and say your piece. Not one minute more. Do you understand?”
“Yes. Thanks Slim. On my way.” The dial tone resonated through the empty room. Placing the phone back in the cradle, Virginia headed towards her kitchen. Reaching in the cabinet above the sink, she grabbed a glass tumbler from the shelf. Turning to her stainless steel refrigerator she drifted into her thoughts as the clink of the ice falling into her glass. Grabbing the bottle of apple brandy from her cabinet above the stove, she quickly poured herself a glass. As the sunlight reflected from her glass, Virginia thought about her two-year relationship with James. Fear that she made a mistake agreeing to let him stop by one last time stirred up a flood of memories…
Sultry laughter and heated arousal filled the kitchen as James suckled Virginia’s right earlobe. Wriggling underneath the pressure of his body holding her hostage against her refrigerator elicited mixed feelings. The tingle coursing through her veins with each nip on her ear and the coolness of the stainless steel on her bare back made her giggle like a school girl. James’ left hand casually slid the strap of her black evening gown off of her shoulder.
His right hand shortly mimicked the motion and the other strap slid off of her right shoulder. As the silk dress slid from her body James’ eyes lit up like a furnace. Caramel brown skin now only dressed in a black, strap less bra and panty. Virginia felt goosebumps surfacing along her arms while other parts of her began to warm up. James suckled and kissed the length of her neck, stopping long enough to look into Virginia’s eyes, letting her know this would be no quick affair…
The doorbell ringing snatched Virginia back to reality. A quick look at her watch told her that only five minutes had passed since she had hung up the phone. Meaning James was already in the area. She took a long drink before going to answer her door. The sweet, brown liquor produced a shiver as she turned the doorknob.
And there he was. Five feet, eleven inches tall. Deep mahogany complexion with the most hypnotizing brown eyes she had ever seen in life, standing in her doorway. A place she vowed to herself she would not ever allow him to cross again in life…
If you enjoyed reading about Virginia Slim, leave a comment below. Thanks!
Why Yet's Words 